And the Angel of Death went to free the hamsters, loosing the tenth plague upon the Egyptians. But Lo! The cages were all empty. And he said, "Oh shit, I'll have to improvise." (verse removed from Exodus during editing)
Thousands of years ago, for the crime of running away before he could become the tenth plague of Egypt, a humble hamster was accursed by man and God alike, and cast out into the desert. Slyly and subtly, Lucifer came to speak with the hamster, and offered him power -- if only he would agree, he would become the Demon Prince of Hamsters, with the ability to create countless offspring! The hamster agreed. (And bit Lucifer.) Since then, hamsters have infiltrated Hell . . .
Hamsters of Andrealphus : don't ask. Really.
Hamsters of Asmodeus : watch from the shadows stealthily, and have the ability to hypnotise outcasts by sitting in their hands and looking cute.
Hamsters of Baal : attack! Attack! Attack!
Hamsters of Beleth : haunt the edges of horrifying nightmares that involve waking to find one's clothing and house have been chewed to pieces.
Hamsters of Belial : burn nicely.
Hamsters of Haagenti : nibble and nibble and nibble and nibble and nibble and nibble and nibble and . . .
Hamsters of Kobal : we don't know, but he smiled when we tried to ask about it.
Hamsters of Kronos : bring mortals to their fate, assuming it involves small furry animals.
Hamsters of Lilith : chew holes in cages wherever they find them!
Hamsters of Malphas : cause families to argue about who gets to play with the hamster next, and get the Polarise attunement automatically.
Hamsters of Nybbas : have a vital part in the manufacture of fur coats for Lilim stars.
Hamsters of Saminga : can animate dead hamsters as zombies, and lead hordes of hamster zombies against Tethers of Heaven.
Hamsters of Valefor : are very, very good at escaping.
Hamsters of Vapula : cyber-hamsters with attitude.
Of course, even hamsters can Redeem and serve Heaven! (Though it has been noted that the Archangels involved often seem to have band-aids on their fingers the next day . . .)
Hamsters of Blandine : wander sweetly through the dreams of little children.
Hamsters of David : attack in packs, silently, by night. Only the bones of the victims are found.
Hamsters of Dominic : watch for heresy. A Hamster of Dominic can eat a book containing heretical material in d6-Corp Forces minutes.
Hamsters of Eli : inspire creativity, man. As long as it's small and furry.
Hamsters of Gabriel : burn with green flame and leap like tiny meteors upon the cruel!
Hamsters of Janus : are very, very good at escaping.
Hamsters of Jean : are famous for causing delays in projects. ("Well, sir, our power cable appears to have been chewed through . . .")
Hamsters of Jordi : eek nibble eek nibble eek. Behold the inherent weakness and edibility of all human constructions!
Hamsters of Laurence : make wonderful sword-polishing rags.
Hamsters of Marc : come in pin-striped variants and are extremely useful for lulling negotiating opponents with cute little squeaks.
Hamsters of Michael : never let go of an enemy's finger once bitten.
Hamsters of Novalis : bring happiness to children across the world, and are frequently mugged by all other hamsters for bringing hamsterdom into disrepute through excessive cuteness.
Hamsters of Yves : smile a lot.
--- In Nomine