In the two weeks before Christmas, well over half of the humans in the city can be found at the mall. And on this particular Saturday afternoon, it seemed like they were all there at once. Moving around me and my bench, searching for just the right trinket to present to a hopefully appreciative loved one, praying inwardly that their credit ratings would not take an unrecoverable wound from the weapons of the consumer world. I was not here to search, nor was I here to pray. I was here to lose myself.
There was no reason to face the three that approached the bench, as they knew my face well, and were doubtlessly aware that I was expecting them. The smaller man paused a few yards away, eyes skimming the crowds around our bubble of drama. His larger companion, a dark-skinned man in a woolen overcoat, crossed my field of vision and walked around to stand behind my right shoulder. This was all standard procedure.
The last of the three was a delicate-seeming woman with long fingers and eyes chipped from a garnet. She sat down next to me, resting her hands on the lap of her suit, looking at my profile. There was no preamble.
"Mazpatiel." Her voice was calm, liquid. Even clothed in flesh, I could recognize it.
"Hananiah."
She nodded, recognizing the Truth of her name and my knowledge of it. "You know why we are here, Power." The larger man stayed behind me, unmoving. He had not touched me, yet. Procedure did not dictate it yet. The smaller man continued to watch the crowd.
I watched a woman walk past a lingerie store, already laden with bags. She was wistful, thinking of the distance that had arisen between herself and her husband. After a moment, she entered the store. "I am aware, Most Holy."
Query and response, the give and take of Inquiry. She did not move as the accusation was delivered. "You bear dissonance within yourself, Mazpatiel."
The small man twitched, involuntarily. I knew him, then. Even wrapped in honour, he was distressed to be witness. Hukkokael. We fledged together, all those centuries ago. The law of God and the judgment of God, raised up by Dominic and set to guard the Host from the shadows. He was my friend, and I did not wish to meet his eyes as I responded with words he knew would come. "I do."
Hananiah nodded, the movement visible in the periphery of my sight, as I watched a young father stand fast against his straw-haired son's insistence on the newest action figure. "I would know the cause, Mazpatiel. The stricture broken."
"There was no stricture broken, Most Holy." The sound of a quarrel rose to our left, a teenager and a man in a business suit, the former disdainful of the culture the latter symbolized, the latter angry at the disrespect of youth. "I have defied my nature."
Behind my shoulder, the warden stiffened. Betrayal and defiance would strike him hardest, of course. Hukkokael's heart swelled, and I could feel how close he was to an outburst. I resolved to speak with him when we had finished here. Hananiah's frown was a tangible thing, striking my cheek with the weight of seriousness. "You will explain yourself, Power." My true name was uncomfortable for her, and I realized that she too wished no part of the possible outcome.
I nodded, as my eyes found a young couple, taking a moment to recover from their shopping, the holidays made more significant from the flowering love between them. "The occurrence was yesterday, Most Holy. You are aware of my duties here."
She nodded, as the young lovers moved closer on the bench and embraced each other. "You were set by the Most Just to watch this city, eighteen years ago by their calendar. You have taken a Role and live as one of them."
I moved my eyes from the kiss as I spoke, my eyes glancing across the countless shifting faces, my senses long since accustomed to the spots of blood within the crowd. "Yes. It can be overwhelming. Patrick has been seeing a young woman who works as a Congressional aide. Three weeks, perhaps four. He enjoys her company, and she is quite fond of him.
"Last night, they went to dinner. He had just concluded a case, and she was released from her job for the duration of the holiday recess. Their spirits were quite high by the conclusion of the meal, and they retired to my residence here."
Hananiah listened calmly, feeling for the truth and finding it on the surface, for I had no reason to deceive. The men had not spoken yet and likely would not, the warden behind me stoic and patient, and the Virtue kept watch, his heart distancing itself as I spoke, walling away friendship behind honor and oaths.
"The evening was pleasant enough, an old film on the television paired with a particularly fine grade of coffee given to me by an associate. Her normal habit was to part from him shortly after midnight, a brief kiss on his cheek and a wish to see him soon. Anticipating this, he set about clearing the remains of coffee.
"I did not think to look to her heart at this time, though I should have been made wary when she stepped close to him and embraced him. It was her suggestion that she stay longer, perhaps unto morning."
The woman's frown deepened slightly, and the disapproval was clear well before she spoke. "Mazpatiel, corporeal recreation is not /strictly/ prohibited, but this inquiry will be forced to take it into account."
"There was no corporeal activity." I corrected Hananiah mildly, knowing that she had heard no lies, but the Truth was momentarily inaudible to her. "I felt her heart, then, and knew her desire. It was not shared. Humanity is not to my taste.
"I rejected her."
Hananiah blinked, nearly surprised, and even Hukkokael turned, facing me with disbelieving eyes. The Seraph was the first to recover. "You rejected her when Patrick would not have."
I nodded, quiet admission. "Yes. She drew away from me, her heart cooling immediately. It was when the front door closed behind her that I felt the dissonance settle upon me."
I rose from the bench, picking up my coat and hat. It was then that the warder moved, a solid hand closing on my shoulder. Hananiah held up a hand. "Mazpatiel. There must be a resolution."
I looked her in the eyes then, saw in them the underlying uncertainty buttressed by the inflexible Law that bound us both. "There is resolution, Hananiah. I have been here since the dawn's light. I have not acted, I have not touched the world. I have watched. I have listened. I have sought balance. And it, as everything, is here." My eyes turned to Hukkokael. I did not seek his heart, for he was not my friend at the moment, he was my judge. "Tell her."
Hukkokael nodded. "The note is gone, Most Holy. Mazpatiel rings clear."
The hand on my shoulder released, and I pulled on my coat. "I am aware of my transgression, Hananiah. I have remedied the situation and restored myself to the truth of my nature. My apologies for taking your time."
She smiled, a bit perplexed at first, then more genuine. "I am pleased at the results of Inquiry, Mazpatiel. It will please me more to report that you have not gone astray. May all thy works be even, Power."
I inclined my head to the three, as I stepped back and put on my hat. "And thine, triad." I turned from them to the crowd, and stepped forward once more, to lose myself.
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