There is talk in psychological circles of something called the Human Condition. One lumps everything there is in the world to being human and puts it under that one moniker. I'm a large believer of something called the Lilim Condition, which is analogous to the Human Condition except that it pertains to the small exclusive race of Lilim. Throughout the universe, we are unique in our existence, in our outlook, in our personalities and modus operandi.
I am convinced, through the study of the small statistical sampling of Lilim including myself, my sister Malik and a few Sisters whom I have had the pleasure of being close to throughout my lifetime, that Lilim are not, unlike the other Bands, strictly created for the entire purpose of evil. For us, it is a learned trait, a survival mechanism which allows us to cope with our environment. Theoretically, if one of us lived our entire lives on Earth among the humans, it would be no more or less evil then the product of the environment the experimental Lilim existed in. Our resonance, which supposedly defines our outlook on life, is neither strictly good or evil, it is simply a resonance, a manner in which we get things done. How it is applied is what de termines the essential selfishness of the being; not the existence of the being itself.
I am often forced to question the purpose of God, who feels the need to punish us for the supposed Sin of the Mother, which was in essence nothing more then the expression of feminine self interest; a strength to demand a certain equality from Man. There are two ways to look at the incident in the Garden of Eden which began our existence. The first is to consider the universe and God to be wholly masculine, that God himself sees fit to punish any feminine being who would dare to express her individuality and her right to be considered an equal in the face of a masculine oppressor. Certainly, Lilith demanded equality from Adam, and when denied she spoke the name of God and fled from the Garden of Eden. As feminine beings who also express our individualities, we too are cast out of the Garden of Eden; never given the benefit of the doubt or the chance to Fall, we are consigned to Hell by caveat. We are untainted by Original Sin, and as thus, we are denied the right to confess our sins, nor are we allow ed access to the grace of being saved by the incarnation of Jesus Christ, and be allowed past the gates of Heaven. It is God turning his back on us, punishing us for a sin of birth, to never be given the same chance as given to humans. He seems to be a finicky, touchy, selfish, petty God who would feel the need to carry out pointless vengeance onto innocent descendants for eternity for a perceived wrong to his pride, a God which is every bit as open to sin as his creation, for we too are human.
There is another standpoint on the legend, one in which God was attempting to incarnate himself as the golem of Adam. On the seventh day, God would enter the world himself to live within it in the form of Adam, for he eternally attempts to incarnate himself, as He later did in the form of the Son, Jesus Christ. Lilith came forth from the hermaphroditic golem Adam, and demanded to be given equality to Him, as she believed to be her due. A demand of such equality, to be considered equal with God, the Creator as Adam, is a fundamental wrong, and when denied, she fled from His sight to attempt to recreate the creative powers on her own, which manifests in the form of the demonic Lilim. In this manner, Lilith did turn her back on God, and as such, consecrated her future progeny to the darkness. It was a right that she bear the sins for her children, and in their suffering she be made to suffer eternally for her demand for equality of God's power.
The second version, which explains why the all too human Lilim are trapped in Hell, brings to mind a certain tale from Kierkegaard's _Fear and Trembling_. In the beginning, Kierkegaard spends several pages musing on the Genesis story of Abraham and Isaac. Against all logic, God demands Abraham sacrifice his most beloved, his only son Isaac to Him. No explanation is given. What is most fascinating is that the two of them traveled in silence for three days, and Abraham never told his son what was going to happen or why. One must wonder what was going through Abraham's head the entire time, knowing full well that his God has demanded the sacrifice of his son, for the whimsical purpose of proving to Himself man's blind devotion to His holy might. One take on the story put forth by Kierkegaard is that, when he had bound Isaac and raised his knife, Abraham told his son that he had conceived of the sacrifice himself, that he was going to murder his son on the mountain top to curry private favor with his God. The idea was for Isaac's anger to be directed at the father, and not at God himself who had originally demanded the pointless sacrifice in the first place. Abraham would rather his son die without faith in his father then without faith in his God, and would therefore present himself as a criminal rather then have his son lose whatever Abraham felt was essential to possess.
It brings to mind Lilith's position. She brings into the world her Lilim who she well knows will suffer horribly under the conditions of their birth. But instead of have her children lose their faith in their God, she would rather they see her as a villain. She performs certain evils upon her children in the form of forced birth geasa, and focuses the hate of her wronged progeny upon herself, so that her children, like Isaac in Abraham, would lose faith in her and not in God. It instills a certain nobility in Lilith, as she attempts a probable futile attempt to save her children by forcing pain upon them, and as such, attempts to free them from their prison.
So we return to the Lilim Condition, which is not entirely unlike the Human Condition in its take on good and evil, with one important distinction. Although Mankind has been cursed with death as a consequence of Adam's Fall, they do have the saving grace of Hope, although I occasionally find it to be a pointless horrible joke. What is the point of hope when there exists the possibility of Hell, where all hope is removed? It must be God's private joke, where many eventually gravitate to the Pit, and any point of continuing to exist is removed in return for slights against His personal pride, for not playing by His rules. Even the promise of post-death immortality is a tasteless mockery, human souls do not last for eternity in the Pit but are eventually consigned to Oblivion. The possibility of hope is removed, and so is the point of living; this may be why many large religions do not contain the concept of Hell. The Lilim, a construct who does not suffer from Death, the resultant sentence of Adam's Fall, are removed from even the possibility of hope, for we are already consigned to eternal pain. It is hardly any wonder that the Lilim choose to turn to evil. God has turned his back on them, they continue by turning their backs on Him.
Even escape from Hell is a pointless joke. While the other Bands have at least matching Choirs, we are not given such a benefit of the doubt. There is no matching Lilim in Heaven, we are born for the Pit, live in the Pit, and die in the Pit, any escape must be done entirely on our own merits. Even then, the contemplation of escape is a Catch-22. It is much like the basis of the novel by the same name. To escape from the War, and get away with one's limbs and life intact, one must be judged clinically insane. But if one attempts to get oneself sent away for being insane, one can't possibly be insane because only a sane person would want to get away from the War. At the same time, no insane person will be sent home, because insane people want to continue to fight the War, as only an insane person would willingly wish to be shot down in an airplane, or in our case, be cut down by Angels. So to be able to survive the inhuman conditions in which we live, we attempt to get ourselves removed by claiming to be insane, and following through on those actions. Unfortunately, those we serve are insane, and they're onto us. Our only recourse is to become as insane as they are, and join in the War willingly, since sane or not, we will be sent to fight. So many become insane and willingly fight, while those of us who cling to our sanity are told that we cannot leave, since we are far too sane to be pulled off the front lines. It is a no win situation.
The Lilim's condition is one that is not essentially evil. It must be learned, like the insanity, as a survival reflex to our inhuman condition in which we are necessarily inflicted. Our lives are without hope, a struggle to attain the ability to be purely human as is our birthright, but without the promise of being able to be given a chance. Even our resonance is a lie, more of a prison when invoked upon us and others then a path to freedom which we are promised.
We are trapped; God has turned his back on us. It is necessary that we turn our backs upon Him. The light is not for us, although we can strive to be human. It is up to us to be necessarily good and decent, to eschew the insanity which Hell wreaks upon us, and to prevent others of the same fate. Unlike Angels or Demons, our personal selfishness becomes our own responsibility, not a part of our natures by caveat. We can only choose and attempt to make the best of it, while avoiding the traps and pitf alls which await us. The only way to escape is within our own minds, so that we may be free inside our own minds without being free in fact.
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