Session Two :
Nathaniel : A cup of tea has yet to assist me in my duties.
GM : The pizza boy's trying to look down your bosom.
Dandelion : So? If it calms him down, it calms him down.
Case : Do you do this often?
Nathaniel : What? Hit demons? Yes.
Burdock : We're on a mission from .. from .. Marc.
Nathaniel, to Burdock (while trying to drive the van and being unable to act violently) : I don't
mean to be offensive, but can you get out and SWIM!
Burdock, to demon : So where do you fit into the Hierarchy of Hell, then?
Bernard : The pizza's here, but there's trouble out front; the Novalis lot are looking after it.
Francis : Perhaps I'll go and assist them.
Bernard : They're waving noxious gases around.
Francis : Perhaps I'll come and assist you.
Martin : I open the door and let me in.
Marc : Would anyone care to give a summary of the night's events?
Bernard : I would.
Nathaniel : Oh, shit.
Bernard : The demon began struggling against the urge to dance, so it was necessary for him to
become shot.
Burdock : I fancy going clubbing.
Nathaniel : How strange. Me too. But not your sort.
---
Session Three :
Lucas, to Nathaniel : I always heard you guys were so uptight. But it clearly isn't true.
Ardon : We are here to search for heresy, and if it is not found, to promote the loving
brotherhood of angels.
Martin : Ah, *heresy*. Why didn't you say so at the beginning?
Bernard : I'm not sure what we're dealing with. Other than American.
Lucas : I'm trying to keep calm for the benefit of my Malakim friends.
Nathaniel, concerning Lucas : Don't let him drive. For God's sake, don't let him drive.
Case : The only person who totals this bike is me.
Case, to Martin, re his current host : Couldn't you have found something more stylish than a
pigeon?
Nathaniel, to thug he just broke ribs of : That's what you get for being a bad boy!
Lucas : I'll take Case's bike. I'll be safe!
Martin, after Case wakes up from The Crystal Incident : What happened to you?
Case : Magical Mystery Tour?
---
Session Four :
GM : You notice, through the crowd, two people.
Case/OOC : If it's Mulder and Scully, you die.
Lucas : Nathaniel, why's that lady wearing so few clothes?
Nathaniel : You've got a lot to learn, kid.
(Getting back to the Malakite Apartment, and seeing the daisho are both in the stand)
Nathaniel : Case is in.
Nathaniel : To force sex is usually very cruel, and if you think of it again, I'll have to teach you
a lesson.
Lucas : I bow to your superior wisdom.
Lucas : Morning, Case. Nathaniel's been teaching me about sex and money.
Case : Mmm. Sex. Good. (Waggles finger and heads into shower.)
Case : I think Tony's number is in the book, under H for Hyena.
Nathaniel : I came across a prostitute last night.
Tony : Was she good-looking?
Case : It's ... odd. Among other things, inside it is a map of the universe. (Re the crystal.)
Bernard : I was hoping I could prove him to be a demon and have him fittingly disposed of before
I had to give him any more hospitality.
Bernard : There are more and more little boxes being filled in on the Checklist of How To Spot
Your Infernal Agent.
Case : The I-Spy Book of Demons?
Bernard : The truth needs to be known, by those who need to know, and the public do not
necessarily need to know.
Dandelion : Go away or I'll spank you!
Dandelion : You're being horrible.
Thug : Damn right I am.
Dandelion : That's not very nice. Would you like some herbal tea?
Terry : (babbles)
Tony : Can you say that again in English?
Case : Bernard, do you know anything about green Beanie frogs?
Bernard : They're a kind of toy, I believe.
Case : Have you ever noticed they're particularly cute?
Case : Burning building?
Nathaniel : No, we did that last night.
(On assassinating Terry.)
Case : Decapitation. It's the only way.
Tony : I've got a prostitute's destiny to fulfil tonight.
Bernard : I see.
Tony : Do you?
Bernard : Not at all.
Bernard : Now it's the delicate way you play with the truth. There was a treatise back in 1311
about the 576 ways of expressing the truth...
---
Session Five
Nathaniel : I do hate fanatics.
Nathaniel (later) : I'm not fanatic. I'm just intense.
Bernard (re Terry) : Unless we're going to find a very dark alley on a very dark night, we need
to deal with him within his role.
Bernard (re Terry) : He is someone who has taken high diving seriously.
Bernard (re Terry, again) : We need to catch him in bed with the head of Meridian TV's barely
legal daughter.
Tony : So you're advocating underage sex?
Bernard : No, I said barely legal.
Martin : Someone's stalking you.
Lucas : I wonder who? I'm sure they have my best interests at heart.
Tony (on disguising Lucas) : Give him a couple of feathers and tell him to go "meep meep" every
now and again.
Lucas : Why am I talking to a security camera and a pigeon?
Case : Not that I'm paranoid or anything.
Zebadiah : I have to go upstairs.
Nathaniel : You mean, with all this going on, you're going upstairs to do nothing?
Zebadiah : No, I'm going upstairs to do something.
Tony : I believe Terry's looking for something sensational.
Rigziel : I'll give him sensation.
---
Session Six
Case (OOC, to Martin) : Do you mind possessing my Beanie frog for me?
Jachin (to Tony) : Please do not allow yourself to be killed while still possessing information. It
would be inefficient.
Case (to the Mysterious Trombonist) : GET A SAXOPHONE!
Lucas : What's sleep?
Case : It's relaxing.
Lucas : What's relaxing?
Case : Have a drink.
Nathaniel : Stupid Malakite trick: go out alone, in the middle of the night, chasing a
trombonist.
---
Session Seven
Ardon (on the Terry Documentary) : You are constructing a tissue of lies.
Tony : I am building something that will be politically correct for this generation.
Bernard : Have you got a computer in this museum?
Zebediah : I've got a typewriter over there.
Lucas (OOC) : Seeing as I seem to be making a habit of being totally gullible...
Tony (to Nathaniel) : I would love to be informed and in touch with people, but unfortunately not
everyone's as cooperative as you're being at the moment. I mean, I'm only doing my best to
help.
Nathaniel : We both have work to do. I may see you later.
Tony : Sometimes I'm glad I'm not a Seraph.
Nathaniel : So am I.
Lucas (about the kidnap) : Nathaniel will be cool about this, won't he?
Case : You can tell him about this yourself.
Lucas : Shit.
Lucas : Oh God, they really miss a lot in angels' training, don't they?
Lucas : So, don't speak to strangers, Dad? Cool.
Nathaniel : I'm not your father.
Lucas : Have you told Mom?
Bernard : Doing it like that meant it was a one-shot stakeout.
Martin : Actually, it was four or five shots.
Lucas : I'll dash after him. I've made it my life's work to follow Nathaniel and learn.
Case (OOC) : White wings, pah! What a wuss!
Tony (OOC) : You come'ere and say that!
Case/Nathaniel/Zebediah (x3 OOC) : White wings, pah! What a wuss!
Case : I'd rather not have to rely on a Morris Minor for a getaway car.
---
Session Eight
Faber : What did Eli say?
Nathaniel : A lot of it didn't make any sense.
Faber : Yeah, that sounds like him.
Case : Call me paranoid if you like - I'm a Malakite.
Case : Lucas, that much blood [holds up fingers] isn't going to make any difference.
Lucas : Depends how fast it's going.
Lucas : Am I okay?
Nathaniel : As far as the tests go, yes.
Lucas : What's a credit card?
Nathaniel : A once-useful item perverted by the forces of Hell.
Lucas : Case, what's a credit card?
Case : It's the spawn of the devil. Don't touch them.
Bernard : I watch with interest to see how they portray me. [watching the television report on his
shooting]
GM : Stern but lovable.
GM : You feel your bottom seaming itself closed.
Nathaniel : Today is a good day to smite evil.
Case : I think Nathaniel would look bloody stupid as a pigeon.
Lucas : [on Gabriel's opinion of his painting of her] She may show her appreciation by burning
it to the ground, but at least we can dance in the ashes.
Nurse : Do you two feel well enough to talk to the Press?
Tony & Bernard : [in unison] We are the Press!
Lucas : I'm trying very hard to be a proper student, so I'm paying attention in the lecture.
---
Session Nine
Lucas : (on credit cards) I'm starting to get twitchy feelings because I've interacted with Satanic
devices, according to Nathaniel.
Lucas : (to Nathaniel) There could be demons you could be smiting that you don't know about
because you don't have a mobile phone.
Anita : This is as bad as Buffy.
Case : No, it's not as bad as Sunnydale - actually, yes, it is as bad as Sunnydale.
Case : (to Anita) If you're willing to take me as your teacher...
Tony : (OOC) Take me, take me now!
Sheila : (on Tony's X-files) And look at this rubbish about a black-winged angel. Everyone knows
angels have white wings!
Tony : Well, the real ones do.
Bernard : Why did you fill Case's bed with chilis?
Lucas : It felt like the complete thing to do at the time.
Lucas : Would anyone like a Hawaian t-shirt, since my mentor has spurned my gift?
Nathaniel : It's not good for camouflage.
Nathaniel : I've got a hole in my Symphony.
---
Session Ten
Lucas : (on Martin's Doom CD) And the University network grinds to a halt...
GM : People are happy, there's music, karaoke...
Tony : (scribbling) Conspiracy in progress.
Nathaniel : More haste, less speed.
Lucas : Some speed at all would be good.
Tony : You have a lot to learn.
Lucas : (pointing at Nathaniel) He keeps telling me that.
Nathaniel : We agree on something. This is scary.
Case : The Demon Beanie Frog of Peace and Concord!
Zebediah : I think there's something funny happening in the swimming pool area.
Tony : What, people are swimming?
Lucas : (dripping wet, having just gone down waterslide fully clothed) I'll just hide behind this
palm tree.
---
Session Eleven
Case : So which flat are the explosives in, mine?
Bernard : No, mine.
Case : Oh, that's all right, then.
Bernard : Have you any idea what you're actually doing there?
Lucas : No.
Bernard : May I suggest that you don't do it, then?
Lucas : Sure.
(about fiddling with the secretary's switchboard at the Vapulan outpost)
Lucas (OOC) : Have Kyrio, will travel.
Bernard : In about five minutes, this lab is going to be engulfed in a fireball.
Nathaniel : Oh, good.
Zebediah (OOC, on Symphonic noise) : Half the demons and angels in Britain are going, "Oh
God, Southampton again!"
GM : In the distance you can hear the sound of fire engines and police cars.
Lucas (OOC) : Oh, listen, they're playing our song.
Bernard (on Lilim Redeeming) : There have been a well-documented number of cases. (OOC) As
in so few that they're very well-documented.
Tony (OOC) : The Kyriotate has gone out to pick up birds.
Martin (OOC) : It's nothing serious. I just want them for their bodies.
Case : By the way, did I really nearly take Bernard's head off?
Nathaniel : No. There were millimeters to spare.
---
Session Twelve
Tony : (on phone to Bernard) Ever thought about a change of job?
Bernard : I'm thinking about changing my job right now.
GM : You feel good about yourself.
Case : I'm immediately suspicious.
Martin : (smiling in human body, flying in hawk body) Mm, nice thermal.
Lucas : I'm limbering up, ready for Nathaniel to give the word -- which is "Sit!"
Lucas : (OOC) I'm making sure I know where the ignition key for the motorboat is.
Martin : (OOC) It's in my pocket.
Bernard : I wouldn't want to be engaged in a James Bond chase.
Lucas : I would!
Nathaniel : We go in if we hear large amounts of gunfire, disturbances in the Symphony, or,
"AAAARGGHHHH!"
Lucas : I sit in a corner and try and work out what went wrong with this whole swimming
thing.
Nathaniel : Did you take a breath?
Lucas : Was I supposed to?
Case : (to mysterious big guy limbering up for attack) I say, old chap, what makes you think we're
enemies?
---
Session Thirteen
Bernard : How about we work on the principle of sound scientific research here?
Lucas : What's that?
(on trying to examine the lab)
Lucas : He's a bad guy.
Zebediah : Yes.
Lucas : Dammit! I always get that wrong.
Case : What would be the point of being an independently poor deity?
Bernard : If you want my honest opinion, I think you've got zero chance of pulling while you're smelling of whiskey like that. (to Daimon, re Athanasius)
Nathaniel : So I can't shoot pigeons indeterminately, then?
Lucas : (OOC) We haven't blown anything up for a while, have we?
---
Session Fourteen
'He's running Windows 2000 and needs more memory', OOC comment on Jean's latest office refit, particularly the new equipment.
'And somebody's thinks THIS is paradise!', Bernard, Seraph of Jean. His all too honest assessment of the Novalis's Glade in Heaven.
'I have heard that in Heaven that you will pay for your sins', Lucille quoting some Hellish propaganda.
'If that's so, Case, you've gone into the red', OOC comment.
'Can I take a bit longer to be sincere?', Lucille, Lilim of Theft, on the prospect of redeeming.
'I'm not logging THAT conversation!', the loggist when the OOC discussion turns to lobotomy and gets icky.
'You're an angel', Tony, a Mercurian to his young female mortal charge.
'Spiritually, all traffic lights are green!', Lucas's comments on driving.
'So as a student, how do you think you will pay for that, Lucas?', GM to Lucas after he just dropped some diet coke on a possible demonic look-out at the university.
'Well, I know Case's credit card number!', Lucas replied.
'It looks big, it looks serious, it....', GM describing a high security research building in Vapula's VR realm.
'It looks trashable', Nathaniel interrupts.
'Well Gentlemen, I am willing to listen to a plan', Case stepping out of a stolen car, just before various angels hit the same research building in Vapula's VR realm.
---
Session Fifteen (01/04/00)
"I don't think I'll ever get used to you." - Nathaniel
"That wasn't a compliment, was it?" - Lucas
"My last superior told me how valiant the angels of Fire were." - Anita (of Esek)
"Last time I saw him, he called me a bloody nutcase." - Nathaniel (Malakite of Fire)
"I've been tracing the records." - Liz (Zebina of Trade)
"Oh excellent...were there any?" - Bernard
"Kyrios are the enemies of pigeons everywhere." - Lucas (OOC)
"I'm following a pigeon. It's a mile out at sea." - Martin
"Pigeons don't normally do that. Is there anything significant in the direction it's going?" - Bernard
"France." - Martin
"That's not significant." - Zebediah (OOC)
"I could go into a fish, but the visibility down there..." - Martin
"It's the Channel." - Bernard
"...isn't great." - Martin
"Nathaniel reminded me about the submarine." - Bernard
"Ah...oh..." - Martin
"Bye." - Bernard
"So put me in touch with Janus...or Eli." - Lucille
"Eli is out due to...practical difficulties." - Zebediah
"Gabriel can be a bit...flighty." - Zebediah
"I don't think he'd want the subsidiary benefits of your life here." - (GM) of Jonias, re Case's lifestyle
"Sex, drugs and Ofanim." - Lucas
"I'm trying to tidy the bottles." - Lucas
You hear the purring of a powerful motorcycle outside, and then the engine stops. - Case/Trish
"I'm trying to tidy the bottles faster." - Lucas
"I could always call it my constructional art and name it 'Mess'." - Lucas
"It will do." - Nathaniel
"Do you think Case will buy it?" - Lucas
"Not a hope." - Nathaniel
"You might need some food with that." - Nathaniel, after Case has given Lucas a large whisky
"In the same glass?" - Lucas
"Give me pain. Give me gain." - Lucas
Sounds of Nathaniel's fist.
"It was a quote." - Lucas, painfully
"What does chatting up mean?" - Lucas
"It's an invention of Andrealphus." - GM
"Doesn't Michael have a problem with not being able to run away from a fight?" - Lucille
"The trick is not to get into a fight you can't get out of." - Case
"This is not Case. Either that, or he's had most of his cerebral cortex removed." - Nathaniel, note to self
"It was a Dominican who taught me about human relationships. It was really boring." - Lucas
"Divorce 101 and property division?" - Bernard
"Why would you want to be inconspicuous in Heaven?" - Zebediah
"It's the principle of the thing." - Nathaniel
"You're in an ordinary business suit with a sword and shield." - GM
"I'll forget the shield, then." - Zebediah
---
Session Seventeen (17th June 2000)
"What's her business with the ruler hereabouts?" - Bliph
"Screwing the ass off him, I think." - Case
"Lucas probably doesn't know what Case is talking about."
"I'm trying to work out where the screwdriver comes in." - Lucas
"I'd like to be a fly on the wall with those two." - of Rupert/Black Sheba
"Imagine what perversions of Hell you might be forced to witness." -GM
"Probably nothing I haven't done before." - Case
"You can't swim." - Nathaniel
"That's a vile slur. When I was coming up for the third time I was getting the hang of it." - Lucas
"There's a demonic army massing in the Marches which will attack any day now." - GM of Ruritanian rumours
"How long has that rumour been around." - Bernard
"A hundred years or so." - GM
"I'm very inconspicuous at dusk all in black." - Lucas
"Except we're not at the boat yet." - Nathaniel
"I'm a diversionary tactic with a smile." - Lucas
"Hey, why don't we use your expensive sword as a lever?" - Lucas to Zebediah
"I've already got quite good at hiding my actions from living in Case's flat." - Lucas
"That's a matter of opinion." - Nathaniel
"What about now being a good moment to say 'you don't want to throttle the Seraph'?" - Lucas
"How many of you have wanted to throttle a Seraph? " - GM
(Many hands go up)
"You are a noble Kyriotate. You could have a word some day." - Esaronothiel of Martin
"Pigeon." - Lucas
"How good are you at swimming?" - Bernard
"I've just discovered how." - Martin
"I shall briefly order the crew...that kind of thing. Then I valiantly get off the ship." - Nathaniel
"He collapses gurgling with blood in his throat." - GM
"I'll apologise to him later." - Case
"Recruiting pitch? She can make up her own mind." - Tony of Lucille
"I'm sorry. I'm confused. Was that a Dominican saying she could make up her own mind?" - Lucas
---
Session Eighteen (30th September 2000)
"I thought rather here than the Dojo." - Nathaniel on reaching the Museum to meet Esaranothiel
"There's more weapons here than at the Dojo." - Case
"Coffee...I've not had coffee for a hundred years." - Esaronethiel
"I've only got instant, I'm afraid." - Zebediah
"Remind me to buy you a cafetière for Christmas." - Case
"Excellent. We're prepared for an assault." - Esaronethiel
"No. We're prepared for a camping holiday." - Bernard
"Will you tell us when it's relevant." - Case, re. the note Zeb received from the seagull
"Yes." - Zeb
"Well, hopefully just before." - Nathaniel
"Their eyes glow with bright intelligence. They lift swords and clubs." - GM of the zombies
"They aren't that intelligent then." - Case, preparing to meet them with Esaronethiel
"Anyone who doesn't like cruelty might object." - GM
"But he's not here." - Bernard
"Good point." - GM
"Oh yes he is. That's torture." - Nathaniel
"You can tell that from here?" - Case
"I'd recognise that scream of pain anywhere." - Nathaniel
"He or she manages to dodge a bit and you cut his side." - GM
"That proves it. It isn't Laurence." - Zeb
"We are the army of God and Christ." - Chief Soldier
"And you haven't heard of Laurence? You obviously haven't read your bibles recently." - Case
"So, you're approaching as a six-winged seraph going 'Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of Hosts'." - GM of Bernard
"He's with me." - Case
"You see a tall figure with steel grey hair in a ponytail...Michael." - GM
"Resonate him...It's perfectly reasonable." - Zeb
"Oh God. They're going to resonate my Superior." - Case (off camera)
---