Tatsumi was worried. He would not show it, oh no. The Department depended too much on his stoic calm, his unflappability, and his ability to give icy glares. He wasn't going to start shaking now. He couldn't afford to.
And besides, what was he going to say? I think I may be losing my memory. Too flat. I've got a slight problem . . . Too vague. For a moment when I had that pillow in my hands, I couldn't remember why I picked it up . . . An unimportant point.
But there had been something so odd in Tsuzuki's eyes as he asked what was going on. He'd seemed almost frightened.
Tatsumi didn't like frightening Tsuzuki. Poor little Tsuzuki. He should be looked after carefully, and scolded frequently. Yes. He needed to be scolded for running off like this.
For a moment, in a flash of clarity, Tatsumi looked into the mug of tea which had been left to go cold on his desk, and wondered if he was going insane. Everything seemed to make a pattern which he should recognise, if only he could think clearly and reason logically. Hisoka vanishing, then Tsuzuki and Watari gone, Wakaba and Terazuma off on a wild goose chase round the most dangerous mystics and assassins in Japan . . .
it's not a wild goose chase, it's only sensible
Muraki might be hiding there
he's hiding from you
he's going to hurt Tsuzuki
Tatsumi rubbed at his temples. His headache was getting worse. He had to protect Tsuzuki and the others and keep them safe from Muraki. That was a priority. How dare Tsuzuki be so stupid and rebellious as to go running off at a time like this?
It almost made him want to . . .
The thought never quite took concrete form. It curled up and hid itself in the shadows of his mind, like an encysted egg, wrapped around by darkness.
No. That was stupid. It wasn't Tsuzuki's fault if he was worried about Hisoka. And had he perhaps been too hasty in saying that the boy was doubtless safe and well and would be back soon? He wasn't back yet, after all. Could something have happened to him?
Perhaps Hisoka himself had run off on a private investigation. Maybe it had been a less than perfect idea to force the boy to think about Muraki . . .
but who could have done it better?
and he'd have said if he didn't want to do it, surely
an annoying boy
if anything has happened to him, he deserves it
Tatsumi tasted blood, and realised that he had bitten his lip.
Perhaps he was ill. Perhaps he should inform Konoe, and ask him to take charge of the investigation.
you can't trust the old man
he doesn't care about Tsuzuki like we do
like you do
you have to find Tsuzuki
There was a blankness in his mind when he tried to think about certain details of the last few hours. The last few days. He probed at them as though they were missing teeth. He had to be able to think clearly. The shadows answered his desires, and he couldn't risk going near anyone if his mind wasn't clear. He had to know what he wanted. He had to think.
it's Muraki's fault
Yes. It was Muraki's fault.
you have to find Tsuzuki
Of course. He'd find Tsuzuki and make sure he was safe. And Watari. And the boy. He had to take care of all of them. Something to hold onto. He'd find them and take care of them and keep them safe.
The darkness rose in his mind, as comforting as his own shadows.
and then you have to scold Tsuzuki for running away
Oh yes.
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