Imagine, if you like, a door; imagine that the door has a key. Imagine that outside the door there are bad things.
Inside, in Captain Aizen's office, he is still writing something at his desk, and he has generously and so kindly said that Hinamori can stay for a while and watch him.
The clock on the shelf ticks softly. From time to time she looks at it, but the hands have barely moved.
She can stay here as long as she likes. She does not have to open the door and go outside. Nobody will make her do it.
Anger
No, no, this could not be true, she would not accept that it could happen. Tobiume was a beating heart in her hand, wings around her, falling petals in a storm --
someone clear the area
fuck, call a captain, we can't handle this
She would make it not happen.
I thought you could talk to her
she's not listening
It would stop being, and this pain, when everything else was gone it would stop hurting --
Hinamori? Can you hear me?
I'm sorry --
And it stops, sudden, perfect, gentle, and she is gone now too, blown out like a candle.
Bargaining
This is the path that goes down into the mists. She left her bed, she left the room, she threw a trance over the guards who were supposed to be watching her, and she found her way to the soft places where one can travel into the darkness.
She knows what she is going to do. She will find her way to him, and kneel at his feet and fold her hands around his, and she will say, It doesn't matter, none of it matters, as long as I can follow you.
And then everything will be all right again.
Depression
Hinamori resigned her post, citing her inability, her lack of competence, and her failure. She was unspecific as to who or what she had failed. Her shoulders hunched and she walked with a permanent stoop, as though expecting punishment.
They gave her a teaching post at the Academy.
Hitsugaya eventually stopped visiting when he saw the flinch in her eyes one time too many.
It took a bit longer than suicidal bravery on the battlefield would have done, or a handful of tablets in Fourth Division; but by the end, everyone knew that it was only a matter of time.
Acceptance
"Of course I understand," Hinamori said, and sighed. "I just wish that things could have been otherwise."
Everyone was kind to her, and silently appreciative of her maturity and ability to accept unpleasant realities. If she grew apart from Kira and Renji, then nobody was cruel enough to notice it. If Hitsugaya had nothing to say to her any more, then neither of them was sure why.
She never did develop bankai. A pity, some said. A good thing, others thought.
Hinamori lived out her life in Seireitai and then she was gone; Momo-chan had died on her Captain's sword.