DURANGO 75 - THE SHODDY BIOGRAPHY.

Compiled by Lionel Weissberg.

It all started on a darkened evening, at the local pub at an anonymous person's birthday. The small gutsy singer was sinking her pint with gusto and the messy haired guitarist propositioned her to form a band. Anything was better than the bloody party. Phone numbers were swapped and within minutes, it was all forgotten about. But, within a couple of weeks, the small gutsy singer told the messy haired guitarist that she liked the tape and started working on putting intricate lyrics to his music. It all began to take shape.

When recording Garrulous, the panes of glass began to rattle, and the fish in the pond outside sank to the bottom like a Russian submarine. All they needed was a proper band. The London landmark a.k.a Big Ben, was scraped off his duvet and asked to provide the kind of low end bass work that causes sphinctal relapses at ten paces, and a totally dedicated drummer called Dean to play the drums. Dean, tragically, was sacked after no more than 5 hours for having the ability to drum and keep it together like an unrehearsed jam bun. Bye, Dean...

Another drummer was needed. Keith Moon and John Bonham were unavoidably detained. But, The Bank Of Scotland came up trumps with drummer Tony Stansmore. Descended from ...people, Tony took to the songs like...a drummer who had listened to the tapes and assimilated. Hoorah!

The small gutsy singer and the messy haired guitarist made big plans to conquer the world. She went on the Internet to discover all things "Durango" and he spent all his money on guitars. But more was required. It came in the form of Teeny-Weeny, who was related to the small gutsy singer by way of a sister/female sibling interface. She strummed her guitar and ate a banana. The line up complete, Fat Elvis became fatter, ears rang and the sweat dripped with casual abandon.

Of course, gigs needed to be found. Wembley Arena, Madison Square Garden, and the Budokan are a bit out of our reach at the moment, so we try and content ourselves with local gigs; if only the proprietors would return our calls. Failing that, a small, intimate gathering in the small gutsy singer's shed will probably be the next option.

All things Durango are good. Merchandising will be interesting to say the least! Durango pens, Durango cigarette lighters, Durango T-shirts, limited edition Durango waffle makers, Durango tooth[aste, Durango shark repellent, Durango Geiger counters, Durango marital aids and Durango stun guns are all mooted for production. Someone even spoke about the possibility of an album or a single.